


Ginger

by Haldane



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Accidental kink, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:09:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haldane/pseuds/Haldane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginger has more than one function.  Even if you aren't aware of all of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ginger

"Watson."

_"Watson!"_

"Hmmm?"

"Wake up, man! I need your help, and fast!"

I pulled myself upright in the bed and wiped my hand across my eyes. "Holmes! Whatever is the matter with you?"

My friend was flushed and sweating, despite it being a cold night. He was also restless, even by his standards, twitching from foot and foot almost compulsively. His voice was a hoarse whisper, and he constantly looked back over his shoulder as if to check for eavesdroppers.

"I need something out of your medical kit. Don't concern yourself, just tell me where you keep your forceps." 

"My _forceps_? Holmes, what can you want with them... and if you need them, then surely you need me to wield them for you?"

"I can't let you," he shuddered all over. "Just lend them to me. I'll only be a little while."

He seemed to be bordering on the irrational, and I was afraid of what he might do either with or without my forceps. I hit upon a strategy, climbing from the bed and moving to rifle through the contents of my medical bag. "Here. Take them."

Holmes vanished, not even bothering to close the door behind him. I waited for about sixty seconds before following him, assuming that his usual alertness to my presence would be reduced by his terrible distraction. I brought my bag with me.

His bedroom door was shut, but not locked. I swear it was only concern for the harm he might do to himself that made me open it without warning. It was just as well that I did.

Holmes was stark naked, with one foot up on his bed, and attempting to stick the forceps into his anus. He clipped them shut on a flap of skin and I winced in sympathy with his whimper of pain.

"Holmes! Stop that at once! You can do real damage with those - are you _trying_ to perforate your bowel?" I charged into the room and snapped the instrument back open, withdrawing it quickly from its precarious position.

"It's not what it looks like," he started, but I cut off his words.

"What it looks like is that you are trying to remove an object from your rectum. It is better that I do it, both due to my qualification and the fact that I can see the area concerned and you can't! Now tell me what I'm looking for, so I know best how to proceed."

"It's... a pain relief suppository. Or it's _supposed_ to be; I got some in France last month. But it burns, Watson! I can't stand it!"

"It will be all right," I soothed him, pressing him down on the bed with one hand between his shoulders. "Just give me a moment to put some lubricant on these." 

Working from a position of advantage, I quickly located the item inside and drew it gently forth. I stared at it in bemusement. "Holmes... this isn't a suppository. It appears to be a piece of peeled gingerroot."

"What?" Holmes twisted around and took the somewhat revolting object from my hand. "This isn't what I had before."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I had quite a good look at it before I started. The chemist I got them from said to dip them in warm water before insertion, so I went down to the kitchen and put some water in a bowl. I was only planning on dipping it when my candle dripped wax on my hand, and when I flinched it fell into the bowl. However I found it again by feel and inserted it. That's when it began to burn, inside."

"The kitchen... Holmes, do you know by any chance if Mrs. Hudson brews her own ginger beer? If she left some pieces of ginger soaking overnight, and you got mixed up in the dark..."

"Good heavens. I had better go downstairs with another candle and remove my pain relief before it dissolves completely." At the door to his room he stopped and turned to look at me.

"Do you think she'd want this piece back?"


End file.
